See here. That imbecile who got himself covered with Zune logos says he’s pissed about how much the Zune sucks and so he’s quitting the club. Money quote: “I am done. I have had the Zune since day 1 and have noticed little improvement. … I am in the works of figuring the best way to get a new tattoo to cover the logo on my arm. … You will see very little of me anymore.”

The less the better, brother. Honestly.

From a reader:

Please return to mercilessly lampooning Jonathan Schwartz. You have a strong following inside of Sun. We don’t like MLP, either. No one believes this guy has the right strategy. Unfortunately, he has the Board buffaloed…has them convinced we merely have execution issues. If we execute his strategy more effectively (devalue any remaining IP by giving it all away for free), we’ll merely dig the hole faster.

Where is Carl Icahn when you need him, and why is he messing around with Yahoo? There’s more greenmail money to be made here. And why isn’t Henry Kravis taking his carving knife to MLP? His investment in Sun has been halved.

Glad to hear that people at Sun actually read this stuff, and I just want to say this: You poor suffering bastards, I feel your pain. The ship is being tossed to and fro, the captain is a madman, and you’re down in the hold, hanging on for dear life. Keep those cards and letters coming, Sun insiders. We’ll do our best to publicize your woes.

If it’s any consolation, there’s been talk lately about Schwartz getting the boot (eg here) though I can’t imagine who would take his place. But Sun’s stock is at $10, and the chart for the past five years is dismal to behold. Like Dell, Sun is suffering not because of its execution problems (though they are many) but because its business model is frigtarded. Sun is the last vertically integrated computer company, making its own chips, its own operating system, and computers that run from low end to high end. That’s a washed-up model, overly expensive and incredibly inefficient. Worse yet, now Sun is trying to subsidize this bloated model with a low-margin (no margin?) open-source software business. Imagine Red Hat with a huge dumb inefficient hardware business tied around its neck, and you’ve got Sun.

Kara Swisher of AllThingsD wonders who will replace Kevin Johnson as head of online stuff at the Borg. She’s got a list of about a hundred people. That’s a famous Wall Street Journal technique — when in doubt, guess as many people as possible, thereby increasing your odds of getting it right once the company does announce a winner. (Though I’m not sure you can call whoever gets to run the Borg’s online division a “winner.”) One name Kara doesn’t mention, much to his chagrin, I’m sure, is Robert Scoble (right). My sources deep inside the Borg report numerous phone calls from Scoble trying to set up lunches and pretending to be just calling to say hi and check in and see how everyone’s doing in the wake of the big news. A couple of the people who were contacted were evil enough to bait Scoble into making the case for why he should replace Kevin Johnson. Boils down to the following:

* I’m a natural leader. Check out my Twitter and FriendFeed lists.

* Already know the location of key Microsoft campus locations, including cafeterias.

* Have a Nokia N95 and not afraid to use it.

* Recently visited Washington, D.C., our nation’s capital.

* Have I mentioned that I wrote a book?

* Active in my church.

* Look good naked.

Apparently a few of these Borgtards are trying to set up a round of fake interviews. Then they’ll call and tell him he’s got the job, so he’ll announce it on his blog. You can’t even begin to imagine how much people at Microsoft hate Scoble.