Google, outed last year by Harpers as “an energy glutton that is only growing hungrier,” wants the U.S. to invest $4.5 trillion to get off fossil fuels and onto new fuels which would ultimately lower the cost of electricity so that Google could make more money. Squirrel Boy doesn’t come right out and say that, however, because, um, I guess the idea of a wildly profitable $20 billion energy hog demanding that taxpayers solve its energy cost problems might come off as, well, evil. Instead Schmidt wraps himself in the flag and says the plan, called Clean Energy 2030, is all about solving the energy crisis and ending global warming and saving puppies and orphans. He argues that since the government seems willing to write a $700 billion check to solve the financial crisis, well, hey, let’s raise the urgency level on energy and tap the government for another big check to create new energy sources, seeing as how they’re in a spending mood and all.
Dude, look. I’m sure the cost of electricity is cutting into your profits. And I’m sure you’ve done some modeling that shows how bad that could potentially get in five or ten years. But come on. One crisis at a time, okay?

