January 7th, 2009 // 61 Comments
Filed: Tech
I’ve been filing a lot out of Macworld and will have more coming later in week from CES. (Groan.) Latest is “Macworld, MacBoring,” describing the sad-ass spectacle that was yesterday’s Macworld keynote by Phil Schiller and wondering, “Is Apple’s golden era over?” Left out of this article (because I filed fast) was the fact that despite the lameness of the keynote, and the lack of anything really exciting, there was no shortage of bootlicking fanboys in the audience, cheering over every little thing and sometimes moaning orgasmically. There’s only one word for this: scary. Even worse were the hardcore Mac hacks who were sitting in the press pool and cheering too. (While most of us were just bored out of our minds.) I’ve never seen hacks actually clap and cheer at a press event unless it was an Apple event. Also check out a post I did for Newsweek’s tech blog, “What would Apple be without Steve Jobs?” Twitter length version: Apple needs to do something about a succession plan.
XKCD nails it, as always: http://xkcd.com/527/
Dude, I thought you were dead.
Nailed it RDL. Phil seems to be a nice guy, but fuck me man — he could put a dead horse to sleep.
I scratch my head at some of the things Apple does, like a built in battery. While it is supposed to be good for 1000 charges, I’m not sure if that will be the result long term. I’ll be interested in seeing what people have to say about the advertised charge life. I doubt its going to be 8 hours.
I’m starting to think Apple jumped the shark.
The HTML title of the first article is different from the title in the body of the page. The HTML title is “MacWorld MacDull: Is Apple’s Innovative Era Over?” Not sure if you care, but figured I’d point it out in case you do.
Good to see you back. Was beginning to worry you caught some sort of hormone imbalance.
I’ve actually seen a lot of that at Nintendo press conferences too.
“A company that has run out of gas”? Really? We would never say that Adobe was a dying company for not releasing a new version of Creative Suite on the public’s schedule, or that Sony was dying because it didn’t come up with a new blockbuster form of media at every CES. Apple is selling more Macs, iPhones and iPods than ever; this year’s MacWorld was its way of saying that it’s no longer going to follow everyone else’s schedule for product releases, not that it’s got no interesting products in the works. Furthermore, Apple has displayed recently that it really likes to introduce products on its own turf rather than in a venue that it doesn’t own where things could go wrong. I’m sorry, Dan, but Apple told us two weeks ago that this would be a yawn and then followed through. That’s a company that likes to control its own press, not one that’s run out of ideas.
p.s. I’m currently using a unibody MacBook Pro that was released a whole three months ago. Clearly, Apple expended its last good idea ever 90 days ago on this silly multi-touch trackpad.
Welcome back from Suit & Tie Purgatory! Did you get a T-shirt from your stay in Pinstripe Guantanamo?
I haven’t even bothered to watch the Keynote video. Really, given what they announced, if *you* were Steve Jobs, wouldn’t *you* want to skip it too?
All the software stuff was fine — but where’s the Mini? The iPod Air/iPod Touchbook?
And where’s the iPhone with better camera, and with Bluetooth that can connect with a new Apple portable Bluetooth keyboard?
Mitch nails it.. you sound like a negative nancy here. The Keynote was pretty boring alright, but that doesn’t say anything about the state of apple given their new stance on tradeshows. And only because you can’t find any use for what they have presented softwarewise (I know I can’t) doesn’t make anyone cheering a retarded fanboy. I can still find a lot more innovation in there, than in anything Microsoft does (what ARE they doing anyway?).
Also the year has just started..
For someone who makes a living of covering all things Apple exclusively, it seems hypocritical to ridicule the people who adore the company. After all, if it weren’t for them, nobody would care about your writing.
Talking about golden eras ending: Man, do I miss fake Steve! Real Dan sure is a shrill, annoying asshole in comparison.
Hmm. Typing in a squeaky voice there Dan. Oh, that’s right. Almost forgot: You lost your balls when your paymaster wasn’t happy with your comments on Yahoo.
Thank god you are back, now please start posting more. We want sludge against Kara, Apple, Yahoo and the likes now!
Dan’s right to be calling them out on this; it’s a cause for concern.
Just because iPods and Macs are selling well, doesn’t mean that the long term health of the company is assured - this is a company that has only thrived when releasing rapid-fire new ideas.
The comparison to Nintendo is pretty apt - when an idea becomes mature and competitors beging taking it up and copying it, Nintendo largely ignore it and move on to something else.
It’s clever, because your company stands out as an innovator and *more importantly*, you don’t have to compete with anyone.
If they have nothing new to bring to the table, they have to compete on an even playing field - and they’ve always failed on an even playing field.
Hey dan, whats up? No seriously, whats up, and why couldn’t you be bothered to let us know about the hiatus?
Great! It’s the RDL 1st quarter ‘09 post….
See you again (197 comments later) in the springtime…
@Erik The Red
xkcd needs to nail RDL
Groundbreaking? No. But some great new products and technologies were shown. Things that nobody else has. But you can’t even mention any of that. You gave become such a douche nozzle it’s unbelievable.
As usual, press gets bored if it’s not some crazy new hardware. So, you don’t have anything to write about in more than article. Who cares.
For me, iMovie improvements are amazing - in that price range to get such simplicity and power (especially stabilization) is nothing but awesome. iPhoto’s Faces is also valuable, especially to anyone who had to manually maintain the “all photos of a kid” collection.
Anyone arguing that because they don’t have a breaking new product each Jan means they are slowing down needs to check his pills prescription.
Post a traffic graph dan, i’ll bet it looks a lot like the stock market
Dude, where have you been?
Hope to see you on the 20th.
- Barry
I love the Mac Daily News Take on both Dan Lyons & his employer Worthless & Weak… er, I mean Newsweek….
:
Dan “Hey, Look At Me, I Used To Pretend To Be a Famous CEO, But Now I Just Turn Tricks For an Irrelevant 12-page Second-Rate Newsweekly That Has To Invent Retarded Horseshit in Increasingly Lame Attempts to Attract Clicks” Lyons writes for NewsWeek.
Still have not found the funny huh dannyboy.
Say what you want about Phil being boring as hell, people were still interested in hearing what the guy had to say. The same can’t be said about a newsweek hack like you.
Is Apple’s golden era over? dunno
what about yours?
Phil is still mum about Safari. I asked him when, oh when, will Safari be able to save my tabs. No, I don’t want “forgetmenot” nonsense. I wanna save my tabs.
Welcome back Papa, pardon, Dan.
There is no succession plan because Apple is Steve Jobs and when he goes it will, at best, just result in a really, really long, painful, slide into oblivion. Kind of like watching a really slow car crash but one that ends up causing a surprising amount of damage.
Let’s welcome Dan back through song. Done to the music of “Welcome Back Kotter”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVS3WNt7yRU
Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.
Who’d have thought they’d lead ya (Who’d have thought they’d lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease him a lot cause we’ve hot him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
Actually, compared to your posts / articles as RDL the keynote was amazing. Seriously.
Your “recent” stuff is just lame. I read through your FSJ stuff a couple of weeks ago and found so many brilliant pieces. Don’t know how you lost it but you finally got me to unsubscribe.
Sorry.
Unsubscribe to what? There hasn’t been anything to subscribe to.
Yo Dan. Just got the latest version of Windows, one of the perks of being the president-elect. It’s totally awesome!
- Barry
No one cares that you’re going to unsubscribe to his blog. In fact, no one cares if you don’t like this blog and feel you need to mention that in the comments. GO AWAY.
No one is forcing you guys to come back here and read anything. All across the web there’s these type of people who come back time and again just to make snarky comments at a popular/famous/influential person. People with some sort of mental complex that makes them feel tough by talking bullshit, ANONYMOUSLY, at that person.
Dan’s not trying to impress you, he’s not trying to be funny (that was FSJ, not RDL), he can remove posts if he needs to, and he doesn’t need to tell you if he’s going on hiatus. He’s got a real job (unlike you guys) and the only reason anyone should come to his blog is if you enjoy his commentary on the tech industry. For everyone else, GO AWAY.
RDL, you’re kind of boring too, compared to FSJ.
What do you expect, a “jesus phone” type of product every year?
Apple is doing very well with their product, with plenty of irons in the fire. I think the Apple TV alone, if revamped properly, could be as huge as the iphone. The most under-rated aspect of the Company is their OS, which I predict will gain huge marketshare unless MSFT completely rewrites its code from scratch and comes up with something innovative and compelling. Quite a challenge.
So as an investor, I see a very bright future. If you want to bust Apple’s chops, it should not be over succession planning, it should be over the lack of a dividend. They need to put that mountain of cash that they are sitting on to work, or give it back to the shareholders.
Palm just delivered this year’s Jesus phone. And it works on whatever cell network you want. Unless Palm’s marketing division fucks this up, it’s going to be game over for the iPhone …
Newsweek’s bitch is back briefly. If anyone doesn’t know - Newsweek has been yanking Dan’s chain blogwise. Around the time he (rightfully) called Yahoo’s PR flacks “lying sacks of shit” Newsweek (a company I wish would fold faster than Tribune Publishing) pulled in the blog stories faster than it’s testicles could leap into a boring emasculated virgin version of itself.
Dan got some decent scratch at Newsweek to be sure - but his mouth is now their property.
Sorry folks, we at apple are not in business of entertaining crowds. Seriously. What we do is this. We sell you the stuff and you go and entertain yourself. How? I don’t care. Try iPod, iTunes, iPhone (games, have you heard of it?) AppleTV, Mac (it is very cool). Try Safari too. It rocks. Download some movies. Don’t expect me to dance for you on the stage. Phil won’t dance for you either. I asked him but he threatened back to exercise - his options.
This economic crisis has its perks. I am talking an afternoon off but won’t tell you which one.
@ ALL Jacka$$es threatening to unsubscribe:
Nobody cares. You think you control the popularity of FSJ and this blog? Getouttatown. If you like fine sarcasm, you will be back, lurking. And we will imprint our message in your Subconscious. Just ask Freud and Kafka. We never let go.
FSJ is absolutely right. I still have nightmares.
Freud is absolutely right. I still have nightmares too.
A lot of hate for RDL on this thread; you fucking fanboi’s!
Jaysus, I wrote that I am talking an afternoon off even though there is no way to actually do that.
We do have a succession plan, Dan. After Dual Core, we are going Quad Core in laptops, some time after we unleash the Snow Leopard.
You friggin retards, you think I design the widgets? Wrong. I b!tch about the widgets and, after five iterations, we have a perfect widget years ahead of competition. Just ask people in engineering why they receive their mail at work and have mattresses under their desks. Sure, they get options but they are worthless if they slack at work. So they work. and work. and work.
Still no boring news about windowseven? Wish you a happle new year!
I don’t think the MacWorld Keynote was that bad. I mean, have you seen the CES keynotes? 9 times out of 10 they’re awful. Saw Monkey Boy’s keynote and couldn’t watch the whole thing. Schiller looks like Jobs compared to Ballmer.
I don’t see why everyone is begging for Apple to state that they have a succession plan. They’d be stupid not to have one. However, its a damned if they do damned if they don’t situation. If they do state their succession plan, there will be negative speculation on Steve Jobs’ health. If there is no mention of a succession plan, hacks like Newsweek Dan Lyons (not Real Dan Lyons, that guy no longer seems to exist) will continue to kick and scream about Apple not having one.
Thanks Dan, at a boy.. you rock…. Sorry Apple wasn’t able to give you that gee wiz bang device you were going to use for typing your child-like-wondrous articles in Microshaft Word… But you know, people who use the apps, actually had a lot to like about the presentation.
Crawl back in your cave for another 2 months… maybe you want to use that time to retract your last blog.
even phil’s name is boring. good to have you back dan-o
> Gates might have made crappy software, but at least had the good sense to know that there was more to life than personal computers, and that the world did not revolve around him. And at least he will have devoted the last years of his life, and all of his billions, to helping the poorest people in the world
What’s with the Satan-love?
Surely you must be aware that Gates didn’t get to hold back the development of the entire IT-world to maintain his monopoly of mediocre crap by playing nice, and that his charity work just might be a PR-ploy to trick people into thinking he’s not evil..
Why do you have to always be such a negative loser Dan? Fake Steve was funny. Real Dan is just a bitter loser trying to capitalize on something thats had its time in the spotlight and is now gone. Get a (real) life Dan and stop being such an utter tool.
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@diotliz
Did you see Balmer’s CES keynote? Microsoft’s new innovations (in the form of Windows 7) are just one rip-off after another from Apple: Making the Taskbar more like a Dock, connecting to Wi-fi more like Apple’s Airport, and “easily” creating a home network almost as easy as on a Mac, etc. Though Kodu was cool (well, cooler was that 12-year-old presenting it) and the quick search/add thing in their email program was also a cool Semantic Web feature.
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Ему исполнился бы 71 год.
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I’m the only one in this world. Can please someone join me in this life? Or maybe death…
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