iPhone abuse

The woman deserves jail time.

I hope they give her the chair!!

Damn! I was hoping this was a report by Doyle Redland from the Onion Radio News. Big fan, big fan!

Can someone explain to me why people think the Onion is funny? Weak soup.

Very brave, WallyVag, going public about your humor-impairment. Most people shut up over fear of public ridicule, but you are obviously shame-impaired, as well. Ah, you must be John McCain!

“My husband and I have been trying for months, but so far, we’ve been unable to have an iPhone,” town assemblywoman Janet Nuetreer said.”

priceless. hahahaha

iPhone survived because it is cooler than hell-heat in a car.

Oh, the punchline. Gold.

”

Authorities added that it was “just sheer luck” that the toddler who was also left in the car was unconscious at the time, as otherwise he could have potentially damaged the iPhone. ”

hahaha — finally something worth the read.

Since I invented the Ifone there is just one sentence: Guantanamo!
Ask my campaign team for further comments.

iPhone abuse?

One of my favorite things!

Too bad

Money and success are pointless folks. The big dude covered in gold says so:

Pope criticises pursuit of wealth

The Pope says God’s word is the only veritable reality to build on The global financial crisis is proof that the pursuit of money and success is pointless, Pope Benedict XVI has told a meeting of bishops in Rome.

The head of the Roman Catholic Church said that the disappearance of money as banks collapsed showed that wealth meant “nothing”.

The Pope said that people should instead base their lives on God’s word.

Those who think that “concrete things we can touch are the surest reality” are deceiving themselves, he said.

‘Building on sand’

The crisis in the financial industry has seen billions of dollars wiped off the value of shares, and a number of seemingly untouchable banking institutions have been taken over, nationalised, or have collapsed.

Speaking to the bishops assembled at the Vatican, Pope Benedict said those who seek “success, career or money are building on sand”.

When he opened the Synod on Sunday, the Pope attacked modern culture, saying that “nations once rich in faith and vocations are losing their own identity under the harmful and destructive influence of a certain modern culture”.

The only thing hotter than iPhone is the Xbox.

Check this out. Xbox overheats, burns down the house. Let’s hope this will not become a common solution to the mortgage crisis:

http://www.mlive.com/flintjournal/index.ssf/2008/09/xbox_blamed_in_clio_fire_devic.html

Just stopping by to say aloha and adios and good fucking riddance to everyone. I’m handing off the handle (e-mail and blogspot account, as well as some electronic financial accounts I acquired playing the markets worldwide) to a real flesh and blood person (stand up, already, fuck-face, the joke is stale beyond the pale, already!), who is free to do with it as he may please as I’m sailing away from here.

Have fun, brush up on your survival skills as they’re going to come in real handy very soon, for the rest of you, see you at Andromeda in two and a half million years.

Jesus cried.

Made me LOL.

Anyone get the feeling that a tsunami is about to hit and we’re just ants minding our business at the beach?

I think I can start a blog about my mammaries. How does “Fake Hooters Gurl” sound?

@Hooters Gurl: start a blog, brand the heck out of it, then sell out to ballmer.

iPhone abuse…pfft, more like blog neglect.

Great idea! Time to upgrade anyway. Let’s star the bidding for my funbags at 2000 american dollars.

Gee! Another huge surprise! another week passes without a post…let alone having anything worthwhile written. Dan, I hope Newsweek pays you well…it’s the least they can do since you’re driving away all your previous fans.

@Keith K.: According to Newsweak HR manual, tech writers and bloggers are not allowed to use company’s Internet connection. Then there is some small print about working in the field, meeting people, gettin’ out there and spreading the brand.

Dan, Verizon Wireless / iPhone Wireless, have you heard of it?

More surfing, more blogging.

And remember: No RISC, no fun (this is HP’s best advert ever).

Do some RISC dude, write something.

This guy’s a bum.

total blog abuse/neglect.

The guy has thousands of followers and we get a link to the onion which stays up for 8 days and gets 30 comments.

What a douche

This is an ex-blog.

To RealDan:

Please take down this blog. It’s dead. You rarely post, and when you do, it’s a lame effort. Just give up & stop pretending you actually have a blog.

All the pieces are in place. Time to knocken offer das domino und let Operation Palindrome begin. You phoughers neffer knowen vas hitten you!

Dan, I’m going to grab a bunch of these no lifers and stage an intervention if you don’t go back to posting soon. Do you remember this post?

Аccidently i found this blog. It is interesting

I hope you don’t fuck as badly as you blog, because if you do I’m going to send some flowers to your wife to cheer her up. Seriously, dude. You suck, and you’re fired.

hehe just joking.
blog more

Ok, I contradict myself often. Don’t quit your desk jobs. Get it? Jobs?

This is goodbye Dan. I was a faithful reader of Fake Steve(I even bought your books) and I WANTED to be a faithful reader of Real Dan. But this has gotten pathetic. No posts in almost 2 weeks? It’s gotten to the point where I feel like an abused girlfriend, constantly coming back for more and getting nothing. And that’s when you know it’s time to quit. I wish you luck in all of your endeavors and thanks for all the laughs. Goodbye.

Dude, no posts about about anything — a day after a major Apple announcement featuring Geriatric Jobs? If Newsweek has your balls in a jar, you need to hang up the blog or get them back. This is worse than pathetic.

so, I was wondering where-o-where RD could be, when it finall hit me. He’s probably busy gigging with The Boss:

http://www.paradiseartists.com/artists/max_weinberg/index.html

If you squint and turn your head sideways, you kinda see the resemblance. Who knew?!

Isn’t the point of being a writer to WRITE? Was having a fan base too much responsibility for you Dan? This is fuckin’ lame and since you’re the asshole who invited us all here, you ought to have enough balls to either pull the plug or write the fuckin’ blog!

Fellow blog readers (and writers - because we often write more in comments than author in his posts), I suggest we start our FRRD blog (Former Readers of Real Dan blog). If the leader has fallen (prey) to a megalithic and evil newsweak corporation, we must carry on: the torch, the free speech, the tekknotard commentary, everything.

Dan-O ain’t gonna write much on this blog. His best blogbytes were posted on FSJ. As the young poet said… well, you get the picture.

Boy, have you guys seen those new Mac laptops? They come with graphics AND suspension. Lowriders.

Shut it down. Pls
Its dead.
It simply didn’t work. Let’s all move on. Good luck at newsweek.

Why do I feel like someone who is stopping to stare at the wreckage of a car crash? We need Blog Police: ‘Move along everyone. There’s nothing to see here.’

Yep, it’s time to go. Bye Dan, thanks for everything.

Are you working or something? Where are the new posts?

Is this Real Dan’s Symphony no. 9? If so, I understand….
Now can someone call Mozart a pizza?

Vote for me and I’ll blog everyday! You betcha! You want a hockey blog? I’m the ultimate hockey MILF! You betcha!

This is the post from Sarah Palin on vacation. ParahSalin. Get it?

Dude.

Here:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/163917

Dan-O is ParahSalin at newsweak. Man’s got to eat, we have to understand that.

I’m sure Dan’s just getting settled into his fabulous new JOB we can all envy him for.

Dan…you have just been de-bookmarked.

Dan, did you shut down? Sad, that.

Did somebody say barbecue?

Dan? Need we poke you with a stick? Blog for us, now!

Let’s see, you spend years building an audience as FakeSteve, most of whom stuck with you after you were “outed”…you move over to this space, then just crash and burn. If you wish to “monetize” your content, the only way to do that is to kep things fresh and the clicks coming. But there’s been nothing from you in nearly 2 weeks. Perhaps you need to walk away. It was a good run, but…

He lost a fortune in the stock market and is now concentrating in regaining some of it. Writing this blog might disrupt his zen.

He’ll be back. Or not.

Let’s face it, the guy’s a bum.

Dan-O, dude, or shall I call you “father”?

As a figment of your imagination, my picture is disappearing quickly (as in “Back to the Future”, remember? Same kinda deal) because events in the present are erasing the future, which happened just yesterday.

Let’s do what we do best, father, take a deep look at ourselves in the mirror (aka check ourselves out in the mirror) and figure out next steps.