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More Dan: Fake Steve

Woz has a new lady friend?

Filed: Tech

Much love to the anonymous reader who spotted Woz at the Outside Lands Festival in San Francisco over the weekend — and quickly snapped a photo and sent it to me. Anyone know who the lady on the Segway might be?

42 Comments »Add your own

Ben  //  August 25th, 2008 at 11:23 am

Wow, Woz is seriously lazy. Looks like he needs to get off his Segway and do a bit more walking…

Is he officially broken up with Kathy Griffin?

 
Chinggis Khan  //  August 25th, 2008 at 11:35 am

Rosie O’Donnell?

 
mare  //  August 25th, 2008 at 11:42 am

Is that a D*ck in a box?

 
MikieV  //  August 25th, 2008 at 11:49 am

Won’t deign to step-down onto the same soil the peasants are standing on?

Where is the guy with the two coconut-halves, to make it sound like he is riding a horse?

 
Jorge V.  //  August 25th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

I think thats Woz Wife 4.0?

 
Glenn Fleishman  //  August 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Uh, I know you’re on vacation and all, but how did you miss the news that Woz got quietly sort of married (apparently under an odd law that allows privacy).

 
Tuco Ramirez  //  August 25th, 2008 at 12:11 pm

He married Janet K. Hill on Friday evening, August 8th in Indianapolis after attending the SegWayFest…

 
NickS  //  August 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
 
Gabriel  //  August 25th, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Woz looks like he’s getting winded from riding the segway.

 
FBO  //  August 25th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

I had an “Oh dear god!” moment and thought it was the cute blonde on the left. But then I noticed there were TWO Segways.

 
Kennytosh  //  August 25th, 2008 at 1:26 pm

What a coupl of dorks!.

I’m sorry but this reminds me of what happened to the human race in Wall-E when people were reduced to riding along in those chairs. Woz needs to get out & get a little exercise.

 
iKEANE  //  August 25th, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Don’t fret, RDL; had you not been vacationing at the time, surely you’d have received an invite to the nuptuals.
Meanwhile try http://www.HowToGetBackInTheLoop.j/k.

 
Eowyn  //  August 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Is riding a Segway so hazardous that it requires the human to wear that dorky helmet?

 
Matt Ghali  //  August 25th, 2008 at 4:17 pm

WOW! Matching segways, matching helmets, matching sweaters and matching bellies!!! How cute!!!

 
Drifty the Gpsy  //  August 25th, 2008 at 4:37 pm

She is smiling because she didn’t sign a pre-nup?

 
SamG  //  August 25th, 2008 at 4:49 pm

I don’t think they were together, because helmets are not matching. Also, his shirt is sticking out. It looks photoshopped to me. Her segway is red, his segway is black. C’mon. Just look at the ample grass surface around them. Hm? Lots of grass means lots of photoshoppin’.

Real Dan, can’t you just call up Woz and ask him for a quick interview? Howz the Macs, ladies, education, workout, is bowflex any good, things of that nature.

 
jcgarza  //  August 25th, 2008 at 5:56 pm

It would almost seem like Woz is making up for the body mass that the Jobso is shedding.

 
biffstoner  //  August 25th, 2008 at 6:03 pm

Holy crap…If I wanted to know which has-been is dating another has-been I would subscribe to TMZ.com. Sadly (because it really didn’t need to be this way) I’ve deleted RDL from my RSS feeds.

 
SamG  //  August 25th, 2008 at 6:18 pm

Ok, I just pulled some strings and found out that this is not Woz on the picture but a Brezhnev-double. Apparently, they are filming something about the glory days of Prague Spring in California and here it is. The Brezhnev-double.

 
SamG  //  August 25th, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Pardon, not Brezhnev-double but a Brezhnev-Doppelgaenger.

’scuse moi.

 
Ben  //  August 25th, 2008 at 6:47 pm

pls tell me they didn’t segway down the isle… that’s just urgh too much

 
Dave Zatz  //  August 25th, 2008 at 8:06 pm

NerdTMZ.com is available! And if you make any money off it, I’d like something sufficient geeky for my troubles – a large RAID array will do.

 
TC  //  August 25th, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Ah Woz… How I love you. I find you disgusting, awkward, leech-like and loveable. How can you evoke so many emotions in me at once? Why do I hate you? Why do I love you?

Woz… WOZ!!! What will you do next? Why will I care?

 
Jeff  //  August 25th, 2008 at 9:13 pm

It wouldn’t be a regular day on the blog without someone threatening to quit reading it!

 
me  //  August 26th, 2008 at 1:57 am

The question should be: Who’s the girl in brown?

 
Amy  //  August 26th, 2008 at 2:03 am

Now you’ve done it, Real Dan! Your blog has a picture of Woz with a chick who he may or may not be dating or married to, on Segways! Clearly you are catering to the lowest common geek denominator with this one.

I am so royally offended I will never read your blog again, no never, and will take myself and my IP address to greener pastures. That’s one less unique visitor in your web stats — take THAT, Real Dan! Oh yeah, and I’ll make sure my MySpace friends avoid you too, because I’m VERY popular on MySpace!!!!! Like SRSLY!!!!!!!!

 
Dave  //  August 26th, 2008 at 4:55 am

The cute blond on the left looks like she has no legs and is casually hovering three feet above the ground.

 
Steve  //  August 26th, 2008 at 8:57 am

Hey, down in front!!

 
crazyhorse  //  August 26th, 2008 at 9:59 am

wow, and she looks like she is really happy to be with him and look like she is sooooooo, hip and cool.

Reminds me of an article that was in “TIME” magazine.

“Everyone is hip and it’s not cool!”

fucking gaytards….

 
FBO  //  August 26th, 2008 at 10:07 am

I’m trying to arrange for a Segway from Woz when I come out on stage in a few nights. I actually want Woz to come out on stage on one, and introduce me, then I come out on one too. Unfortunately they tell me the stage can’t support that kind of weight. Maybe we can have him announce me from the catacombs underneath Invesco Field.

Other than that, convention was great last night. It was on TV, every station was there. See Biden boogie down during the dance routine? That’s why I picked him, he’s got moved like a brother. And the HoloTed v2.0 holograph simulation worked perfectly.

- Barry

 
bashibazooks  //  August 26th, 2008 at 2:04 pm

the skinny chick is pretty hot

 
Kris  //  August 26th, 2008 at 3:15 pm

They are wearing matching helmets – one of them is on backwards. I think it must of been hug a retard day. Steve and his lady friend are freaking out because they are the only ones who showed up. They look like freaks – just look at that other lady behind them taking pictures. A sad, sad day in the life of Woz.

 
Woz  //  August 26th, 2008 at 10:33 pm

I’d hit it.

 
Jennifer P  //  August 27th, 2008 at 10:18 am

You gotta give the guy credit, he apparently doesn’t care if he looks like a huge dork.

 
Gary  //  August 27th, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Who cares! Who’s the gorgeous creature on the left with the blue earrings?

 
st  //  August 28th, 2008 at 1:02 am

Real Dan=Woz lady friend’s fan
Faked Steve=inside story of product development and apple life
Hi, Dan, why are you want to be “real”?

 
T-dog  //  August 28th, 2008 at 7:25 pm

Her name is Fatty McFatterson

 
faddah  //  August 29th, 2008 at 8:38 pm

jcgarza is onto something! woz is sucking the life from RSJ in vengeance and using it to nail the skank/geek women of the u.s.!!!

 
steveballmer  //  August 31st, 2008 at 10:17 am

Wozniak Calls me begging for a Job!

I kinda feel sorry for this guy. He used to be a big shot at crapple, but now he is just a bloated shell of his former glory. Serves him right though, he did help develop the Mac and some more of those other toy-looking wanna-be computers. Woz, I will hire you! I need a new caddy/footstool/back-scratcher/fetch-n-tote-boy. Call me, ask Steve for my private number …. oops I forgot he doesn’t return your messages, sorry about that, I’m paying minimum wage too.

 
FakeRedNeck  //  September 3rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm

Please give me the name of the pretty blond instead.

 
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