August 19th, 2008 // 24 Comments
Filed: Tech
Apologies for the hiatus and much love to all who wrote in asking me where I was and what the hell I thought I was doing taking time off. Seriously, I felt the love. Anyway, I’ve been skiing in Chile for the past few weeks and mostly out of reach of the Interwebs but the highlight of my trip was the frantic (and I mean frantic) emails from Valleywag trying to find out if this story about me doing standup comedy in San Francisco was true. It’s not. I would never have the guts to do standup. And I’ve been nowhere near San Francisco for months. I don’t know where iPhone Savior got this photo of me (above) but it’s a good one, I must admit, and I may use it as my official author photo at Newsweek when I start there in September. Even more amazing to me was that I came back to find out that nothing at all of any significance has happened in the world of tech since I checked out. Amazing. Okay, there’s the big story about Apple now having a bigger market cap than Google. And the stories about Apple wiping out iPhone apps without explanation. Have not yet seen the story that says Apple today has become what Microsoft was ten years ago — the 800-pound gorilla that everyone else, especially startups, must either appease or avoid. Way back in 1997 I did a story for the New York Times mag about a little company called Firefly. Money quote up top was this gem from Firefly’s founder and head of technology:
“The reality of the software business today is that if you find something that can make you ridiculously rich, then that’s something Microsoft is going to want to take from you,” Metral says. “All we can do is meet with them and try to see what they’re going to do to us when they feel like doing it. If they want to kill you, they’ll kill you.”
Sound familiar? Is it a huge stretch to imagine a world in which Apple, which controls the platform and owns the store, plays the same role?
FWIW, not long after my article ran, Microsoft bought Firefly. And later shut them down.
Hells yes. That’s the dan lyons that we know and love.
RDL is back. Hooray!
welcome back Dan! Now I’ve got more to look forward to throughout the day. Namaste.
The iPhone app kill-switch thing has finally got people asking what I’ve been asking for years: what if Microsoft pulled this kind of shit? And how does Apple get away with it with its halo intact?
i agree
Good to have you back! I admit I was hoping the story about you doing standup comedy was true, just so there would be hope of watching a performance of yours.
That last line in your post here made me LOL.
Dan, good to have you back. I hope you had a good break. Any answerphone messages or voicemails you want to tell us about?
My life is back to normal… thank you!
Apple doesn’t have the market share to pull that shit. If they did they would but they don’t.
People aren’t really afraid of Microsoft anymore. They threatened to bury us, we told them to have at it, and they didn’t do shit. The loss of respect for Microsoft, and the greening of alternatives, is the biggest tech story of the decade. Microsoft… full of sound and fury; signifying nothing.
For the slow, consider Zune versus iPod, Xbox 360 (red ring of death) versus Nintendo, MSN Search vs Google, Vista versus Leopard. Yes they still make a lot of money but they are slipping, sort of like DEC in the mid-80s.
Is any one considering you for Veep?
Skiing in the Andes eh? Was it chilly down there?
Sorry, Real Dan you’re just not fun or funny. As FSJ you were both.
Try as you might, you just can’t put the helium back into the balloon, once it’s escaped.
Color me gone…
Dan can you please can the CannotCommentard? It’s having a negative impact on my font shui.
I’ll handle him. Or her.
Yay! My favorite RSS feed is back!!
RDL is okay, but you should really reconsider starting FSJ again. You were so good at it.
You’re back. It really made me smile.
YAY!!!! DADDY’S HOME!!!
All is right with the world.
Phew, thank god this wasn’t a 3am phone call. I don’t know what I would do then.
- Barry
Well, you missed the story about Scoble flying around with John Edwards and his mistress.
I am not kidding. He’s got photos.
Whoa. Edwards? Mistress? Hot three-way with Scoble? Even I missed it, and I was staying there recently on vacation*. John, how could you.
Note to self: Tell Plouffe we need to go back to the drawing board for VP. Or just go with Plan B.
- Barry
* - you didn’t actually think that was me in Hawaii now, did you? Body doubles, for myself and my family.
Did you miss the FSF’s “Apple Challenge”? Huge coverage (and ridicule) of their initiative to book multiple Apple Genius Bar appointments just to argue Apple policy with their techdroids.
I sure felt that article was a hatchet job back then. Now that I’m 10 years away from it I really do like the quote. Not flattering to our company at the time, but rings true.
welcome back dan - we missed you!
as elton john, a truly royal queen much wiser than myself, once intoned —
“ah the bitch, ah the bitch, ah the bitch is back!
stone cold sober, as a matter of fact.”
ain’t it da truth.
good to have you back, dan-o.
oh, and i’m back too, beeeeeeeeeeeyyyoootchezz!!!
read ‘em & weep.