July 28th, 2008 // 26 Comments
Filed: Tech
Well, I’m stunned. My phone just rang and I picked up and it was Jerry Yang. He goes, “It’s Jerry Yang. You think I’m an inept nerd who doesn’t know how to run a company, and I think you’re sleazier than a used condom. Got a minute to chat?” He went on to say that he was calling to address a few things that have been written about him in the press lately in particular about the way he handled Microsoft’s bid to acquire Yahoo. Jerry said he wanted to tell me some things about the Yahoo-Microsoft negotiations, and he wanted me to print these things, but he would only talk to me off the record. I said okay. Now, I can’t tell you what Jerry told me, but let’s just say that I didn’t hear anything that contradicts earlier reports about the failed Microsoft-Yahoo deal, and from what I’ve been told, by a source whose identity I can’t reveal but who is very, very, very close to Yahoo, it appears pretty unlikely that Yahoo will be sold to Microsoft at any time in the near future. I’ve also been told, by a very reliable source, that Jerry Yang does not have cancer of any kind at this time, but he does have a little problem with acid reflux, though it’s nothing to worry about.
Acid Reflux is a common geek problem. Drink less diet coke, and more green tea.
Great stuff Dan. That’s the way to deal with all the Apple FanTards (including possibly myself?)
Dan, you’re a fantastic writer, with real insight into humans and this crazy industry — and pull no punches. (I’m surprised no one’s tried to sue you yet!) But it was funnier/more interesting when it was Fake Steve. Even when we knew it was RealDan. Bring FSJ back when his summer cruise is over!!
It’s difficult to tell with this new voice if what you say is real, as the title implies, or fake. Either is a possibility with this - it would be very amusing to get a call like this from someone like Yang, and actually plausible!
Dan,
and you did not put the phone down mid-way through the conversation to check yourself out in the mirror? haha
I admire your professionalism
“You think I’m an inept nerd who doesn’t know how to run a company, and I think you’re sleazier than a used condom. Got a minute to chat?”
Is this really the level of wit and sophistication which prevails in the world of computing, IT, the internet? Or is it just a slight journalistic exaggeration of what was said?
If it is correctly reported, the conversation does explain much about the continuing degradation of public discourse in our society, and the generally deleterious effect of these technologies on our lives. Precocious children, indulging in defiance of authority by saying naughty things, seem to be the trend setters. JB.
Are you sure it’s acid reflux? I’ve heard it’s irritable bowel syndrome.
- Barry
There you go.
Have to agree with some of the above - I’m confused about what’s true here. Something on this blog should clarify that, considering your history in the blogosphere.
thats more like it… though i’d have loved to see FSJ tear dizzle apart. ah…
i agree with you too… maybe you can add “not fake” to the tags where applicable.
Ah, now that’s the Dan Lyons I fell in love with.
@Joseph Balsamo
Look. In IT, we don’t want customer service and people skills videos. Or jump on chairs for that matter. Instead, we do stuff, alright? And watch Clint Eastwood movies to get an idea how screwed up the world is we need to fix. As Jobso put it when he was pulling a fast one on Sculley “do you want to sell sugarwater or a chance to change the world?”
It takes what it takes. You can read more about it in “Poetics of Space” - a bit dense, but revealing nonetheless. And Made in France too, which is kewl.
Welcome back Dan. We missed you.
Yeah, this “not fake” notion would help a lot. You could take it further too, with tags to call out satire, irony, humor, foreshadowing…
rjrjr
It’s quite clearly satire, and fake, although past experience (Shutdown Crisis anyone?) has shown that Fake Steve/Dan Lyons’s fan base is quite inept at understanding when he’s joking. As for all those saying he should point out when he’s kidding: If a joke has to be explained, it ruins it.
What proof do we have that it was RSJ who phoned that New Yorker hacktard in the first place?
Dan has pretended to stop doing the whole FSJ thing and I’ll tell you why. The vendetta got more serious. Now he’s pretending to be Steve Jobs on the phone to journalists, bad mouthing him and all kinds of nasty stuff.
I saw a video where Lyons did an impression of the real Steve and it was totally convincing. But now the video has gone from YouTube. Coincidence?
There’s a lot more to this than meets the eye. I’m not sure yet that so called Real Dan is really RSJ, but since Brian posted about it I’ve been wondering.
so if FSJ is RDL and RDL is RSJ then FSJ is RSJ… Oh Misery!!
is this fake or not fake? I can’t imagine Jerry Yang calling you or any fake blogger any time
you need some kind of code next to your postings like a big red F if it’s fake and a big green R if it’s real. something like that.
LOL!
clearly none of your readers read the sunday NYT
…or rather the Saturday July 26 NYT
I don’t understand if this blog is satirical or real anymore. Kind of like an old Bloom County cartoon, where folks are watching a war and say that it looks cool, as long as it’s a movie, and not clips from a real war. Are you looking for a different satirical outlet from FSJ, or a place to be a real technology industry pundit and commentator? I don’t think having both at the same time works as well.
Oh my god, It’s full of appletards