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Bloomberg runs Dear Leader's obituary slightly ahead of schedule

By |Tech|

There are some days when I really, really, really wish I were still writing Fake Steve, and friends, this is one of them. In case you haven’t heard, Bloomberg accidentally ran Steve Jobs’s obituary today, and then retracted it. Luckily, Gawker decided to humiliate Bloomberg by publishing the entire obit, including the list of people that Bloombots should call if/when Dear Leader actually does die, which I’m still not sure […]

Dan Lyons: Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Screenwriter

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About Dan

Dan Lyons is a humorist, journalist, and screenwriter. He has been called “the Mark Twain of Silicon Valley,” and “Jonathan Swift for our own digital age.” He’s a sharp-eyed, cynical humorist in the spirit of Dave Barry, Jon Stewart and Bill Maher. But instead of politics, Dan aims his laser-sharp wit at the world of business, and especially Silicon Valley. Over the past decade Dan has given dozens of keynotes, entertaining audiences with his smart-funny takes on […]

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Flashback: John Doerr says Zynga is "our best company ever"

By |Tech|

Ah, remember the good old days, by which I mean November 2010, less than two years ago, when there was no bubble and all those crazy valuations in the secondary market made perfect sense because, as John Doerr pointed out here, Zynga was “the most profitable, the fastest growing and has the happiest customers” of any company KPCB had ever invested in. Yay! Back then Zynga was valued at $6 billion and it seemed like the sky was the limit.

Cut […]

Don't know if Apple will make a 7-inch tablet, but they should

By |Tech|

I know the Great Man Himself once said that the iPad was the perfect size and that 7-inch tablets were “tweeners” (too big to be a phone, too small to be a tablet) and thus would be “DOA.”

But I’ve been using the Google Nexus 7 for a few days and it has already become my go-to device. It’s small enough to toss in a bag, and small enough that you can sit with it in a cafe and not have […]

Larry Page: Steve Jobs wasn't really angry about Android

By |Tech|

That’s the biggest takeaway from this interview that Larry Page gave to my old pal Brad Stone of Bloomberg-Businessweek.

I think the Android differences were actually for show. … I think that served their interests. For a lot of companies, it’s useful for them to feel like they have an obvious competitor and to rally around that. I personally believe that it’s better to shoot higher. […]

Month of Microsoft: Ouch, Rovio. That hurts.

By |Tech|

Rovio, maker of Angry Birds, tells Bloomberg it won’t create a version of Angry Birds Space for Windows Phone, because the platform is so tiny. “We want to be on all screens, but we have to consider the cost of supplying the smaller platforms,” a Rovio guy says. I don’t really give a crap about Angry Birds, but still: Ouch.

Rumor: Apple spent $100 million in its first case against HTC — and got almost nothing

By |Tech|

As I reported in this week’s Newsweek, Apple’s “thermonuclear war” on Android smartphone makers has been fizzling out lately. Most of Apple’s legal claims have been tossed out, and the two minor victories Apple has scored were so trivial that opponents could work around the claim by making minor changes to their products.

But a person close to the situation tells me there’s a rumor going around among […]

It's official: Apple will announce one new iPhone, or possibly several; they will be bigger than iPhone 4, or smaller, or about the same size; and will be radically redesigned, or will look pretty much like iPhone 4

By |Tech|

The magic happens Oct. 4 on the Apple campus in Cupertino. Sources say the model(s) will be called iPhone 4S or iPhone 4 Plus but definitely there’s also an iPhone 5, although Apple might introduce all of them, and the new ones will boast a radical new look (photo above) and will look nothing like the iPhone 4 unless they look exactly […]

HP Chairman Ray Lane: A profile in courage

By |Tech|

HP board chairman Ray Lane is lashing out at critics who are pinning the blame for HP’s mess on the board of directors, who are described in this New York Times article as the “worst board in the history of business.”

Now HP’s directors are getting heat for making the incredible blunder of hiring Leo Apotheker as CEO and firing him after 11 months.

Ray says that’s not his fault, […]

Le Chiffre sharing chips with his evil allies

By |Tech|

Meaning: Google provided HTC with nine patents that HTC now is using to sue Apple, according to Bloomberg. Florian Mueller says it’s getting more likely that Apple will sue Google directly.